I am 40. I am also single. For the record, I am very comfortable with both of those facts.
I have been very comfortable with my singleness for a very long time (because I have been single for most of my life.) I rather enjoy my life. I have had to be very strong in many situations for decades. A friend said to me tonight she does not know how not to be strong because she has no one to lean on other than herself. I found myself agreeing with her on that.
I am strong. I am weak. I am certain. I am curious. I am confident. I am insecure. I am sure. I am unsure. Through it all, I like me. I like my life. I love my life in fact. There are things that are hard, difficult, stressful and yet I carry on. This too shall pass. I will get over, get through, carry on regardless of circumstance. I will get through it even though I am getting through it alone. I do it because it simply is. This is my life. This is my circumstance. Ok, I get it. It will not get the better of me.
And through it all I move. I go. I live. I learn. I do all of this...alone. It is not that I do not want someone alongside me. The reality is, there is no one alongside me. Maybe there will be one day. Maybe there won't be.
Being 40 and single (not divorced, not widowed, just never married) is different. It puts you in a different part of church, work, community. This is not a complaint. It is merely a statement of fact. Anyone who knows me, will understand this has not slowed me down from making the most of church, work or community.
When I say I doubt I will ever get married is not because I hate marriage or have anything against it. It is merely because at 40, I have learned that life may not go as society expects it to. So I have decided to enjoy it fully, as it is, not lament what it is not.
Maybe I will get married one day. The truth is, I do not know what the future holds. What I do know, is I don't want to simply settle. I do not want marriage to mean my life slows down. I do not want it to mean I cease being myself. I do not want it to mean I cease.
I believe marriage does not mean I simply settle. I know it does not mean my life slows down. I know it does not mean I cease being myself.
What it does mean is I need to be very discerning. My mumsy, bless her, has never understood why her daughter does not have men lining up to ask her out. I have no idea. Maybe because her first, redheaded daughter keeps moving, keeps busy, keeps being strong.
I have been told men are intimidated by confident, strong women. I have also been told I give off a vibe that I am closed to men. I have no idea what that means. I am strong. I am confident. Why shouldn't I be? Why should that preclude a man from asking me out?
Maybe if I cared enough I would think about that more. But I don't. This is me. I like me. Countless other people like me. So I will carry on as I am. If some guy is 'brave' enough to ask me out, I may blog about it...months later.
Until then, I will celebrate life with those who are married and those who are not. Life does not cease or begin with one or the other. Life just is. It is up to us to define what it becomes.
I have been very comfortable with my singleness for a very long time (because I have been single for most of my life.) I rather enjoy my life. I have had to be very strong in many situations for decades. A friend said to me tonight she does not know how not to be strong because she has no one to lean on other than herself. I found myself agreeing with her on that.
I am strong. I am weak. I am certain. I am curious. I am confident. I am insecure. I am sure. I am unsure. Through it all, I like me. I like my life. I love my life in fact. There are things that are hard, difficult, stressful and yet I carry on. This too shall pass. I will get over, get through, carry on regardless of circumstance. I will get through it even though I am getting through it alone. I do it because it simply is. This is my life. This is my circumstance. Ok, I get it. It will not get the better of me.
And through it all I move. I go. I live. I learn. I do all of this...alone. It is not that I do not want someone alongside me. The reality is, there is no one alongside me. Maybe there will be one day. Maybe there won't be.
Being 40 and single (not divorced, not widowed, just never married) is different. It puts you in a different part of church, work, community. This is not a complaint. It is merely a statement of fact. Anyone who knows me, will understand this has not slowed me down from making the most of church, work or community.
When I say I doubt I will ever get married is not because I hate marriage or have anything against it. It is merely because at 40, I have learned that life may not go as society expects it to. So I have decided to enjoy it fully, as it is, not lament what it is not.
Maybe I will get married one day. The truth is, I do not know what the future holds. What I do know, is I don't want to simply settle. I do not want marriage to mean my life slows down. I do not want it to mean I cease being myself. I do not want it to mean I cease.
I believe marriage does not mean I simply settle. I know it does not mean my life slows down. I know it does not mean I cease being myself.
What it does mean is I need to be very discerning. My mumsy, bless her, has never understood why her daughter does not have men lining up to ask her out. I have no idea. Maybe because her first, redheaded daughter keeps moving, keeps busy, keeps being strong.
I have been told men are intimidated by confident, strong women. I have also been told I give off a vibe that I am closed to men. I have no idea what that means. I am strong. I am confident. Why shouldn't I be? Why should that preclude a man from asking me out?
Maybe if I cared enough I would think about that more. But I don't. This is me. I like me. Countless other people like me. So I will carry on as I am. If some guy is 'brave' enough to ask me out, I may blog about it...months later.
Until then, I will celebrate life with those who are married and those who are not. Life does not cease or begin with one or the other. Life just is. It is up to us to define what it becomes.
Your mother totally understands your singleness. God gives many gifts and one of those is the choice of singleness to certain chosen people. She just likes to tease you!!!
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