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When Life Doesn't Turn Out The Way You Planned

My title is a loaded statement to me.

Did I plan my life long term? What did I base my plan on? Did I let society tell me what the plan should be?

My life has never gone according to any plan. I was born to a teenager out of wedlock. Her father was in politics. Most in the family did not even know about me.

I was adopted into a family that had already adopted one child. My brother. He is 16 months older than me. As an adult I remember my mum saying how surprised she was they got a call about a girl available for adoption. Back in the 70's you would go through the process to adopt a child and then wait for a phone call. One day my parents received a phone call there was a girl they could come and see. I assume most families then did not want to adopt a child that looked very different than they did. I can only assume adoption was something kept very quiet. Not in my family. My parents came, took a look at me and took me home. I told my mum the reason I was there so long (they adopted me a whole week after I was born) because I had very red hair. I was not going to fit in just any family. My mum also told me later that people said they almost never knew she had a child when it was just my brother. She didn't understand what they meant… until they brought me home. Sorry mumsy. I'll blame the colic.

I fit in this family though. Four years and twelve days later, my mum gave birth to my sister. I remember the day they brought her home from the hospital. There was nothing typical about how my family was created. Yet I have always been thankful for it.

I was incredibly blessed to grow up in the home I did. It was not perfect. No home is. Yet what it gave me was a grounding in life to what is important that has served me well.

As I grew up, I could tell I was different from my siblings. Apparently my two favourite questions growing up were "Why?" and "How come?" I think they are still. Well I would add to that "What can we do to fix this?"

Maybe my curiosity and determination to help find answers and help people has set me on a different path. Maybe multiple surgeries, countless trips to the hospital and other 'bumps in the road' have altered my expectations for my life.

I was watching a show tonight and one of the characters talked about life not being what he expected it to be. Years ago I quit expecting life to be a certain way. Decades ago I quit letting society tell me what my life should be.

I was not married in my twenties and thirties, having children, buying a house, and settling into home life. I was getting a degree, then starting a second. I had multiple major health issues. I lived overseas. I visited over a dozen countries. I moved back, broken in some ways. I healed. I found new strength. I became more determined than ever to change the world around me and show compassion to those who needed it.

I found my passion. I lost my father. Again, I found new strength. I became more determined than ever to seek out ways to help those who had less and lift them up.

Even now I confuse people. My faith, politics, and social involvement seem to break any mould people tend to have created. I'm ok with that. I'm not a fan of labels. I'm also not a fan of other people putting expectations on others. Who says I need to be married with children? Who says I need to be anything other than what or where I am? What if I like me? What if I enjoy my life?

Being truly honest, my life has not always gone the way I had expected or hoped. Yet it has always been amazing. Each event or moment has been filled with learning, joy, sadness, hope, fun, freedom and many more. I have been blessed. I am most thankful.

Decades ago I let go of societal expectations and embraced my own life. I embraced who I was. I like me. I am not perfect. I am working hard on my imperfections. Daily I am thinking and assessing. Where am I? Where do I want to go? What could be next? What else can I do to help the world around me? Yet that does not mean I am discontent.

I want to encourage you. Where are you now? Where would you like to be? Are you content? (Not happy, content. There is a subtle difference.) What do you enjoy? What is your passion? Are you living that? Is that passion inspiring you to change the world around you?

I am not a fan of telling others how to be or what to think. I am, however, a fan of encouraging others to be their best, to celebrate their gifts, and to enjoy life to the fullest wherever they are.

Life may not turn out how we plan it but that does not mean it is any less fulfilling or impactful. When life takes a turn you were not expecting, try to find the good in it. My life is a bit of a roller coaster and I have learned to embrace it. It never disappoints.

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