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Thought vs. Thinking

I think a lot. I remember in College, a friend said to me once he would love to spend a day in my head. After thinking for a moment, he then decided that would not be a good idea. My mind is a very busy place. I am often planning out my day, tasks, how to get all the things done I want to, how to get things done over the long term, what I will write next, what I will knit or crochet next, what I can do work wise, and on and on. (I'm sure you get the idea.)

I also know I am not alone in this. I am not married. I do not have children. One can only imagine how busy my brain would be if I did.

I have had a few friends say they find it difficult to 'shut off their brain' when going to bed at night. Honestly, I struggle with that too more often than I would like. Our minds are filled with problems, solutions, trying to find solutions, happy moments, sad moments, angry moments, hurt filled moments, joy filled moments, the mundane, the magnificent, the ordinary, the extraordinary, and much, much more. It is a wonder we get any rest at all.

Lately though I have been thinking about thinking. No, I did not run out of other things to think about. Instead I am trying to do a mental house cleaning. I have written before about changing the tape we play in our heads. This is a bit different. I started paying attention to my thoughts and noticed I am the one choosing what is recorded on my mental tape, if you will.

We all have countless thoughts each day. I see someone walk by with a lovely scarf, or shoes and think 'how lovely.' I see something and am reminded to add something to my grocery list. I check the weather forecast and plan to spend more time inside or outside depending on the weather. Those are thoughts.

Then there are other thoughts. How do I look? This can be a quick thought or it can become thinking. I get ready to head out and check in the mirror first. I think I either look great or I look less than great.  Whichever thought I have will then become my thinking for the rest of the day. A thought that leads to action is very different from a thought that leads to thinking. Thinking leads to believing. Believing leads to behaviour.

There was a time when I was running regularly. During that time I thought of myself as a runner. No, I will never run a full marathon. I will never run a half marathon in under 2 hours. Yet I am still a runner. The more I thought of myself as a runner, the more effort I made to run regularly. Then something happened. Life changed. There was difficulty. I had some very toxic people in my life. I allowed new thoughts to become new thinking. That new thinking quickly crowded out my belief I was a runner. Then the running stopped. I quit being the runner I knew I was.

Years later, the toxic people are gone, life still has challenges but they are very manageable. Now it is time to replace the old thinking with the even older thinking. I need to start running again. I need to rediscover the runner in me.

This is just one example of how my thoughts have become negative thinking. There are also positive examples. But those are not the ones I need to get rid of. They are most welcome to stay.

The more I think about this, the more I am aware of the thinking I have allowed in my life. Some is truth. Some is based on lies. The important thing now is to replace the lies with truth. Being honest with myself is the first step to doing this. No, I am not perfect. That is not my goal in life. My goal is simply to be better each day. To be moving forward. To learn from mistakes. To be kind and gracious to others. To not think anything less.


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