I was listening to a sermon podcast tonight on the topic of friendship. I have been thinking a lot about the friendships I have lately as well as the kind of friend I am in return.
In the past year and a half I have had some sad losses of friendship and amazing joys at gaining new friends. Life is always moving, always changing so it seems natural that friendships will as well.
I often mourn the loss of a friendship. Those I consider friends are important to me. I understand there will be disappointments. We are all human, none of us is perfect. Yet a friendship ending is still sad. So I started looking at the losses. (My last blog post was on learning from these and other circumstances.)
This past week I had a friend tell me if a friendship dissipates quickly or easily, maybe it never really was in the first place. Those words were very freeing to me.
I am not the kind of person who likes drama. Is there a problem? Let's find a solution. Do you need help? What can I do? Do you need a trusted friend to listen? I'll put the kettle on. I will gladly listen.
I started to wonder if I was so concerned with being what others needed in a friend, I quit being the true friend I needed to be.
Last weekend I was out with a friend I do not get to see as often as I would like. Life just has a way of keeping both of us busy enough that we cannot connect in person much. So our time together was amazing. She is the type of friend I can just be myself with. I know I am accepted, as does she. We have both shared some incredibly deep hurts, disappointments, and struggles. We have also celebrated with each other and encouraged one another greatly.
I realize not all friendships will be that way. They are not meant to be. Some will be less frequent and will not go as deep. I do not need all of my friends to listen to all of my life stories. Not everyone is there to support. Some are there to encourage, others are there to listen, some are there to be spontaneous with. There are also just a small handful, and really not even a handful, that we share our deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences with.
This is why it is so important to treat each friendship accordingly and not place unrealistic expectations on them. I believe that is what I did. I partly assumed the people I placed great value on did the same for me. Maybe they did, it just looked differently. We also need to remember we are but one person in another's life. There could be a multitude of things they are dealing with and we are the easiest to either let go of or unload on.
Whatever our situation, grace and mercy are such tremendous things to carry with us. This is what I will start focusing on more, for both my friends and myself. That is a wonderful way to be a true friend.
In the past year and a half I have had some sad losses of friendship and amazing joys at gaining new friends. Life is always moving, always changing so it seems natural that friendships will as well.
I often mourn the loss of a friendship. Those I consider friends are important to me. I understand there will be disappointments. We are all human, none of us is perfect. Yet a friendship ending is still sad. So I started looking at the losses. (My last blog post was on learning from these and other circumstances.)
This past week I had a friend tell me if a friendship dissipates quickly or easily, maybe it never really was in the first place. Those words were very freeing to me.
I am not the kind of person who likes drama. Is there a problem? Let's find a solution. Do you need help? What can I do? Do you need a trusted friend to listen? I'll put the kettle on. I will gladly listen.
I started to wonder if I was so concerned with being what others needed in a friend, I quit being the true friend I needed to be.
Last weekend I was out with a friend I do not get to see as often as I would like. Life just has a way of keeping both of us busy enough that we cannot connect in person much. So our time together was amazing. She is the type of friend I can just be myself with. I know I am accepted, as does she. We have both shared some incredibly deep hurts, disappointments, and struggles. We have also celebrated with each other and encouraged one another greatly.
I realize not all friendships will be that way. They are not meant to be. Some will be less frequent and will not go as deep. I do not need all of my friends to listen to all of my life stories. Not everyone is there to support. Some are there to encourage, others are there to listen, some are there to be spontaneous with. There are also just a small handful, and really not even a handful, that we share our deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences with.
This is why it is so important to treat each friendship accordingly and not place unrealistic expectations on them. I believe that is what I did. I partly assumed the people I placed great value on did the same for me. Maybe they did, it just looked differently. We also need to remember we are but one person in another's life. There could be a multitude of things they are dealing with and we are the easiest to either let go of or unload on.
Whatever our situation, grace and mercy are such tremendous things to carry with us. This is what I will start focusing on more, for both my friends and myself. That is a wonderful way to be a true friend.
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