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Tree vs. Forest

Over the past few weeks I have had the privilege of talking with some dear friends about the changes I have observed in them over time. A few friends have been in my life for decades. Others only a few months or years. Yet all had the same trait. All had changed significantly for the better.

I always point this out to people when I see it. So far no one has complained. One friend even said that was one thing she loved about me. Life is hard. I think we all know that. There are also a lot of things that happen in life beyond our control. Some days it can seem as though we have little control over any parts of life we want changed.

Yet if we stop long enough, take time to slow our heart and mind, we sometimes see things we can change. Maybe it is just our attitude or outlook. Maybe it is our perspective. Maybe it is just changing the notion in our mind that nothing will ever change. Whatever we can change, when we do, things start to improve a bit.

Whenever I share with friends the amazing and positive change I see in them, they are often surprised. We are usually so busy living life and immersed in the day to day that we rarely stop long enough to look at the big picture. We cannot see the forest for the trees.

Whilst it is important to check the health of the trees in the forest and repair damaged trees or cut down diseased ones, it is also good to stop from time to time to see the whole forest.

This can be easier said than done. Often we focus on the trees that are damaged or diseased. Some we can get rid of simply and others are removed or repaired over time. Then there are trees we have removed but cannot stop thinking about. They may be gone, but never forgotten. Instead, they are still alive and well in our memory. If we let it, the whole forest can look like that one bad tree.

Maybe that is enough of the analogy. We are all human. None of us is completely defined by one moment, attitude, or action in our life. We are constantly changing, learning, and (hopefully) moving forward. Yet we often define ourselves by our worst moments or actions. They hang over us a bit like the cloud over Eeyore. When we stop to allow that, we neglect all the positive changes we have made. It can be even more complicated when we allow things that others did to us define us.

Just because we have been treated horribly by another person does not mean we are horrible. I have had a few situations in my life when people have treated me horrendously. I will admit I allowed their actions to define me for a time. It wasn't until I realised their actions were a complete reflection of their own hearts and minds and not me that I was set free to be the person I know I am.

I am changing constantly. I hope I am at least. I try to be less selfish, more others focused. I want to be more giving and worry less about what I get. I want to be forgiving instead of keeping track of hurts. I want to extend more grace and hold fewer grudges. I want peace.

What do you want in your life? It may be a hard question to answer. Maybe things in your life right now are depending on others. Maybe you are in the midst of a difficult journey that you cannot change. Wherever you are, try to take a moment to stop and see the forest. You might find things are better than you realised.

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