It is December. For many, it is a high pressure month. There is pressure to find the perfect gifts for family and friends. There is pressure to find the right outfit for a staff holiday party. There is pressure to put together a perfect meal for everyone. There is pressure from advertisers. There is pressure from family. There is pressure from friends.
There is also a lot of joy in this month. It can be a time of healing. It can be a time of renewal. It can be a time of forgiveness. It can be a time of hope. It can be a time of new beginnings. It can be a time of coming together. It can be a time of peace.
For me, it is the hardest month of the year. There are many reasons for this. I won't waste time going into them here. The reasons are not important. For the past few years I found December to be a bit easier. Then this year hit. I have been carrying some extra disappointment lately that would, under normal circumstances, just flow right over me as if it was nothing. This month though, every small bump in the road is harder.
I know I am not alone. Over the past couple of weeks I have been talking to various friends who are going through difficult times right now for a variety of reasons. One friend looked at me and said "I know, I need to get over it." I looked at him and said, "You don't have to get over it, you have to get through it." He appreciated that. It was a change of perspective for him that (I hope) helped him see things a bit better.
The idea that life is supposed to be perfect (or at least without great difficulty) and we are supposed to be happy is a Western construct. If you talk to people in developing countries, they will think you are crazy for expecting to be happy all the time. I agree, that is not the point in life.
Life is hard and not just in December. None of us know what life holds. None of us know what is around the corner. We do not know when difficulty or sadness or loss will happen. What we do know is it will most likely happen at some point.
When those difficult days come, it is important we try to find a way through it. That may include reaching out to friends and family. I know that can be the most difficult thing to do when life is hard. But sometimes, just knowing we are not alone can make all the difference.
It can involve stepping out of our circumstances to help others. It is not saying others are going through harder times than us so we should be thankful. Hard is hard. It doesn't matter what makes it hard. Yet stopping to focus on someone else reminds us that we have value to the world around us regardless of circumstances. We are all capable of kindness.
It can also involve simple things like getting a good night sleep and drinking lots of water. I know this sounds a bit ridiculous, but being rested can help put things in a better perspective. We are better able to see things as they are, not as we think they are.
In some of my darkest times (I'm thinking back to 1997 when I was waiting for a final surgery that would put my life back on track), I just kept telling myself each day I needed to make it to bedtime. In the morning, things would look better. Often, they did even if nothing had changed.
I know this month will pass and I will find January much easier. I know I will get through this month as I always do. Because to me, the point of life isn't to merely be happy. That is such a fleeting feeling. For me, it is to be content. It is to be kind. It is to be selfless. I am not those things all the time or even most of the time. Who am I kidding? I am not those even half of the time. Yet they are what I strive to be.
If you are struggling this month, or any month, know you are not alone. You do not have to get through whatever is hard alone. You have value. You have something to contribute and to offer the world around you.
Here are some resources to help you if you are struggling:
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html
https://www.crisistextline.ca
https://mindyourmind.ca/help/where-call
There is also a lot of joy in this month. It can be a time of healing. It can be a time of renewal. It can be a time of forgiveness. It can be a time of hope. It can be a time of new beginnings. It can be a time of coming together. It can be a time of peace.
For me, it is the hardest month of the year. There are many reasons for this. I won't waste time going into them here. The reasons are not important. For the past few years I found December to be a bit easier. Then this year hit. I have been carrying some extra disappointment lately that would, under normal circumstances, just flow right over me as if it was nothing. This month though, every small bump in the road is harder.
I know I am not alone. Over the past couple of weeks I have been talking to various friends who are going through difficult times right now for a variety of reasons. One friend looked at me and said "I know, I need to get over it." I looked at him and said, "You don't have to get over it, you have to get through it." He appreciated that. It was a change of perspective for him that (I hope) helped him see things a bit better.
The idea that life is supposed to be perfect (or at least without great difficulty) and we are supposed to be happy is a Western construct. If you talk to people in developing countries, they will think you are crazy for expecting to be happy all the time. I agree, that is not the point in life.
Life is hard and not just in December. None of us know what life holds. None of us know what is around the corner. We do not know when difficulty or sadness or loss will happen. What we do know is it will most likely happen at some point.
When those difficult days come, it is important we try to find a way through it. That may include reaching out to friends and family. I know that can be the most difficult thing to do when life is hard. But sometimes, just knowing we are not alone can make all the difference.
It can involve stepping out of our circumstances to help others. It is not saying others are going through harder times than us so we should be thankful. Hard is hard. It doesn't matter what makes it hard. Yet stopping to focus on someone else reminds us that we have value to the world around us regardless of circumstances. We are all capable of kindness.
It can also involve simple things like getting a good night sleep and drinking lots of water. I know this sounds a bit ridiculous, but being rested can help put things in a better perspective. We are better able to see things as they are, not as we think they are.
In some of my darkest times (I'm thinking back to 1997 when I was waiting for a final surgery that would put my life back on track), I just kept telling myself each day I needed to make it to bedtime. In the morning, things would look better. Often, they did even if nothing had changed.
I know this month will pass and I will find January much easier. I know I will get through this month as I always do. Because to me, the point of life isn't to merely be happy. That is such a fleeting feeling. For me, it is to be content. It is to be kind. It is to be selfless. I am not those things all the time or even most of the time. Who am I kidding? I am not those even half of the time. Yet they are what I strive to be.
If you are struggling this month, or any month, know you are not alone. You do not have to get through whatever is hard alone. You have value. You have something to contribute and to offer the world around you.
Here are some resources to help you if you are struggling:
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html
https://www.crisistextline.ca
https://mindyourmind.ca/help/where-call
Comments
Post a Comment