A wee bit of BS

When I worked in Early Childhood Education, I would often encourage children to use their imaginations. I gave them free time to create, play, imagine, have fun, and be someone they were not. A part of the reason I did that was because I believe it is important for children to think, create, problem solve, work together, and have some unstructured time with their friends. As we grow older, we lose a lot of our imagination. It just isn't needed as much. When we get together with friends, we chat about real life, or let others use their imagination to help entertain us with music, movies, theatre, or other creative events. We are focused on the here and now. Our days are filled with reality. There is no time for imagination, make believe, or pretending. Or is there? The past few weeks I have been thinking a lot about how we present ourselves to others. I like to think I am the same person at church, work, with friends, with family, or volunteering in the community. If you saw me ...

On Valentine's Day I logged into Facebook, as I do every day. It is just another day to me, however, I enjoy seeing people's posts about how they are celebrating the day. I also love seeing how my friends' children are enjoying a day celebrating love. This time though I was shocked to read a post from parents of a friend saying he had passed away. Utterly shocked. I knew he was in hospital. Just before he went in he sent me a text asking if I could take his cat for a bit. I still had a somewhat new cat here so I said I couldn't but would ask around. I figured he would be in for a few days. I did not know what the issue was. He had been battling depression and his life was exceptionally difficult at the moment. But I thought he would be in for a few days then home again. I checked in with him through Facebook a bit and my last message asked if he was admitted, and if so, where so I could go see him. He never replied. I still assumed he would be home in a few days. ...

I took a sick day today. No, I don't have the flu or a bad cold. I am tired. Very tired. I have felt extreme exhaustion for months in fact. Maybe longer. I just thought I wasn't sleeping well. However, I also lacked motivation to do anything extra most days as well. I saw my doctor this week about something else and when she looked at my blood work she noticed my thyroid number was very high meaning it was low functioning. She prescribed a low dose medication to try to get it back to normal. Hopefully within a week of starting it, I will have more energy. So today I asked my boss if I could take a sick day and he had no problem. So far I have slept for most of it but am still tired. Yet at the same time I am excited and hopeful. Now I know what the issue is. It is something that can be resolved. It is something that has a name, a diagnosis, a solution. It wasn't just my imagination. I tweeted recently that two things happened Monday that are life changing for me. That...

I am sitting here in my warm house with an eggnog latte beside me. It is a warm comfort of winter I enjoy. It is dark much earlier now and the weather has cooled considerably. Winter seemed to hit us literally overnight but the past few days it has warmed up melting some snow. I can currently see some of the grass in my yard. Yet when the temperature dipped below -15 and the north wind picked up, I was tempted to stay inside more. I would be outside simply to go to work and come home. I ordered groceries online for delivery saving me the struggle of getting heavy, bulky groceries home by bus. I also had a cold that seemed to hang around for over a month. The cough that came with it did not help. My apologies to everyone who rode a bus with me and had to listen to it. Thank you to the kind woman who handed me a cough candy one especially bad trip. All of this got me to thinking about how easy it is to hibernate in winter. It also got me thinking about how easy it can be for us t...

I am 44. I am happily 44. I am single. I am happily single. I am short. I am (mostly) happily short. I am a middle child. I am adopted. I am thankful. When I was a child/teenager I played a few sports. I played soccer, field hockey (mostly because my mum is from Australia and I wanted to play it to feel closer to her), and rugby. I wish I loved running then like I do now. I am not gifted athletically. Not at all. I played because I wanted to try. I wanted to challenge myself. Then my health situation changed. Sixteen days after my 24th birthday I had my first surgery. I had never been very ill in my life. Suddenly everything changed. I remember walking into the hospital very early that morning. I barely remember the next five days. This changed my life dramatically. It changed mostly because absolutely nothing went right. Two surgeries three months apart became eight surgeries over ten years. Months after my sixth surgery, in Dublin, I remember going to the gym with co-workers. I...

I have been on holiday this past week. Well it feels less like a holiday and more simply that I did not have to go into work for the week. I did not do much that would count as exciting or even much that was fun. It has been a very long time since I have been able to take time off work and simply be. It has been years in fact. My financial situation is greatly improved but I still have a ways to go before I have fully recovered from almost four years of poverty level income.  Yet this week has given me time to rest and reflect on many things that needed time. This summer I have been to two funerals. One for a woman who had cancer for many years and was mourned but celebrated at the end of a life well lived. She was a force and loved by many. She was also able to live a full life and enjoy the love of her family and friends.  The second funeral was for the eldest son of a friend. He died very suddenly and completely unexpectedly. He was healthy and happy. His whole l...

I do not have a vehicle so I do not often get to my church on Sunday. I wish I could go every week but alas, it is not meant to be. Yet when I go, I sit in the same spot every time. This is not at all because I feel entitled to that spot. It is only because I am short and when I sit in this one spot I rarely have anyone sit in front of me to block my view. You see, when I do get to church, I see it as an hour of my week that does not require me to do anything for anyone. I can simply sit. I can be. I can wait. I can listen. I can learn. I can worship. For one hour of my week no one is asking anything of me. Instead I am receiving. Life can often be like that though for all of us in many ways. We choose our 'spot' and sit there. We stay there. We feel we own it. It is OURS. Heaven help someone who dares step into our claimed space. We all have our reasons for being where we are. Then I had a change of mindset. It happened the other night as I sat on my deck. I have a long an...