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My life ain't no highway...

I remember the Tom Cochrane song 'Life is a Highway' and have fond memories of driving up to Gimli with my friend Kristina with this song playing loudly as we sang along. At the time, life seemed like it was a highway. We were all on journeys. The destination unknown and yet that was a good thing.

There were bends in the road but we handled them. We kept moving forward. Fast forward some twenty years and I have to say my life feels more like a roller coaster. I don't think I'm alone in that feeling. Most of my friends do not have as much change or constant motion in their life the way I do. Yet all have busy lives that are unpredictable.

In life, I am not a fan of roller coasters. I would never go to an amusement park to ride one. I prefer both feet firmly on the ground. There was a time when I loved the rides that tossed and turned but that was long ago.

Some days the tossing and turning of life has seemed almost overwhelming. Last weekend it was nine years since my dad passed away. He was my biggest cheerleader in life. Losing him was possibly the most painful thing I have experienced. In the midst of his three month stay in hospital as leukaemia slowly took him from us, I had to head to Toronto for surgery. Words cannot express how difficult that time was for me. Thankfully he lived long enough for me to return so he could finally see me well.

I am heading into December which is typically the hardest month of the year for me. We all miss my dad at this time of year. My birthday is early December, followed by my sister's, niece's and then my dad's after Christmas. Oh, and Christmas is a bit anti-climactic when you live alone. Yes, I have a family dinner. But it isn't the same in my home as it is for my sister and their five children.

I never thought my life would be like this at 40. I am glad. I may have made decisions that would have led me elsewhere. Then I would have missed some amazing things. The struggles I have been through have shaped me and taught me. I have not always made the best choices. Yet I have learned how strong I can be. I have learned grace, extended more easily towards others than myself though. Mercy. That is a big thing for me. Generosity. Wow, I could write pages about that. I have been incredibly blessed by the generosity of others. In turn, I try to be as generous as I can. I have learned from both success and failure.

Well maybe not failure. That word has a sense of finality to it. Do we make mistakes? Yes. Yet hopefully we are always learning from them. It is all a part of the roller coaster of life. Hopefully we are  not allowing them to stop us from carrying on, making a difference, and growing.

Because the roller coaster ride has many points to it. There are highs, there are lows. Sometimes it is incredibly fast and takes our breath away. Other times is slowly creeps to a crescendo before racing again. So hold on tight. Enjoy the ride when you can. Stick with it when you cannot.

There is much to be gained. Much to be learned. Much to be enjoyed. Do not be afraid of hardship or sorrow. Do not be afraid of loss. These are all the things that can make us better if we allow them to.

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