I have only been a bridesmaid a few times in my life. That is a good thing as I am a terrible help to a bride. I really have little knowledge or interest in the intricate planning that goes into a wedding. I am delighted for friends who get married, don't get me wrong. Weddings have never been a big deal to me though.
So when asked to be in a wedding I say yes, because it is not about me, it is about my friend getting married. I should also note, I take my commitment to the couple very seriously when I do say yes to being a part of the wedding party. For me, it is less about the day and more about the lifetime the two are planning together. When I stand up at their wedding, I am also there saying I bless them, love them, and will always do everything I can to support them as a married couple. I also expect them to be married for a very long time.
"Until death do them part..." It is a small part of wedding vows most people don't give my heed to. Death is usually a long way off, at least when you are young and getting married. So last year I was stunned but hopeful when a friend told me her husband had cancer. I was in their wedding party. This is not how their story was supposed to go. However, we had hope of treatment slowing the cancer.
That did not happen. In fact, late last year it got worse. When I went out a couple of months ago to visit them, it was hard yet there was laughter in the visit. My friend's husband was paralyzed by a tumour on his spine. Yet we had a good laugh, as we always have. These two are some of the funniest people I have been fortunate to know.
Yesterday I arrived to his hospital room as my friend was holding his hand and comforting him. He is in his last days. He did not see me or acknowledge me. He was that far gone. Thankfully the nurse came to give him something for his pain and he settled into sleep. My friend and I sat there and talked for over an hour. We still laughed a lot about various things. There will be time to cry. And we will.
As I sat there with my friend I was amazed at her strength. I was amazed at her demeanour. I was amazed at her. This is someone I have known since 1992. We were in college dorm together my first year. I had to take a break from typing because I started laughing thinking about some of the practical jokes we all played on each other. Then I had to cry.
Death is not supposed to part them until they are much, much older. Yet here it is on their doorstep. What I have seen in the midst of this horrible turn in their lives is love. True love. Kind love. Compassionate love. There was never anger. There was never impatience. There was never resentment.
There has been love in sickness just as it has been in health.
As my friend and I talked about his funeral, she commented that her husband wanted to make sure they put the fun back in funeral. I laughed. That is exactly the kind of person she married. Someone who loved life and loved people. Someone who deserves to be celebrated. Someone who will leave a massive hole in countless hearts. Someone I will miss dearly. Someone who laughed just as hard as I could. Someone who believed and hoped until the end.
When I stood with them on their wedding day I knew I would be friends with them for decades. I had no idea an end would come so soon.
Now I need to find something bright to wear to his funeral.
So when asked to be in a wedding I say yes, because it is not about me, it is about my friend getting married. I should also note, I take my commitment to the couple very seriously when I do say yes to being a part of the wedding party. For me, it is less about the day and more about the lifetime the two are planning together. When I stand up at their wedding, I am also there saying I bless them, love them, and will always do everything I can to support them as a married couple. I also expect them to be married for a very long time.
"Until death do them part..." It is a small part of wedding vows most people don't give my heed to. Death is usually a long way off, at least when you are young and getting married. So last year I was stunned but hopeful when a friend told me her husband had cancer. I was in their wedding party. This is not how their story was supposed to go. However, we had hope of treatment slowing the cancer.
That did not happen. In fact, late last year it got worse. When I went out a couple of months ago to visit them, it was hard yet there was laughter in the visit. My friend's husband was paralyzed by a tumour on his spine. Yet we had a good laugh, as we always have. These two are some of the funniest people I have been fortunate to know.
Yesterday I arrived to his hospital room as my friend was holding his hand and comforting him. He is in his last days. He did not see me or acknowledge me. He was that far gone. Thankfully the nurse came to give him something for his pain and he settled into sleep. My friend and I sat there and talked for over an hour. We still laughed a lot about various things. There will be time to cry. And we will.
As I sat there with my friend I was amazed at her strength. I was amazed at her demeanour. I was amazed at her. This is someone I have known since 1992. We were in college dorm together my first year. I had to take a break from typing because I started laughing thinking about some of the practical jokes we all played on each other. Then I had to cry.
Death is not supposed to part them until they are much, much older. Yet here it is on their doorstep. What I have seen in the midst of this horrible turn in their lives is love. True love. Kind love. Compassionate love. There was never anger. There was never impatience. There was never resentment.
There has been love in sickness just as it has been in health.
As my friend and I talked about his funeral, she commented that her husband wanted to make sure they put the fun back in funeral. I laughed. That is exactly the kind of person she married. Someone who loved life and loved people. Someone who deserves to be celebrated. Someone who will leave a massive hole in countless hearts. Someone I will miss dearly. Someone who laughed just as hard as I could. Someone who believed and hoped until the end.
When I stood with them on their wedding day I knew I would be friends with them for decades. I had no idea an end would come so soon.
Now I need to find something bright to wear to his funeral.
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